Naughty or Nice? We’re Not Here Forever
Original Post: December 11, 2018
To be honest I’ve struggled to getting around to my last blog post of the year as part of my goal to do 1 post a quarter. Not for lack of topics I guess, and more this whole reflection at the end of a year period gets me into a whole existential question of what even is this concept of time and our minuscule part of it. That in itself kind of inspired me to finally put things down I’ve been trying to process. How are we always so hard on ourselves?
Simply put — all we have is time. This is what intrigues me about Stoic Philosophy (https://tim.blog/2009/04/24/on-the-shortness-of-life-an-introduction-to-seneca/) we can’t make more of it, save it, at least given our current technology :P What puts this into focus even more unfortunately is when we lose people in our lives. A few weeks ago I found out that two friends from high school tragically and suddenly passed away in an accident. It’s weird because we haven’t really stayed in touch over the years, but Facebook allowed us to still feel connected — “Hey any tips for visiting SF, etc.”. Growing up there was a small group of us that went to the IBT program at Gordon Graydon, and with that there’s this shared history of growing up together. A big part of our lives crossed paths. This was even more evident as other friends from home reached out to tell me the unfortunate news.
GGMSS Athletic Banquet
It’s amazing to read/hear the impact that they had made on other’s lives (and my own memories) and made me think about how one day I’d liked to be remembered. I’ve always looked at it like the picture below. We are all circles, and every time we cross with other people our circles touch. I only hope that anytime / how someone crosses with me they leave with nothing but happy positive memories and that good karma grows as these circles of impact are exponentially increasing.
Circles of Impact
Yet despite this finite time, we spend a lot of it being naughty to ourselves. As I look back at the goals I set for the year it was easy to get mad at myself for not doing x or finishing y, but taking a step back while looking at the bigger picture, WOW have I come a long way and been on some great adventures :) It’s easy to forget the progress we make over longer periods of time. Sometimes I catch myself wishing some people would be more like this or that, etc. It took a very long time for me to learn this lesson, because I am stubborn as fuck, yet when I heard it in a podcast something just clicked for me. Internalizing that message while sharing it really helped repair the relationship with my family and brought us to an amazing place. The #1 key to relationships with others, ALSO applies to YOURSELF:
Love > Then Being Right
What a crazy idea? Our rational logical brain always has to find a way to make it all fit together to be right. Check that box. Accomplish that goal. My last post talked a lot about the toxic masculinity that spawns from feelings of inadequacy. Why when I came across this article about MDMA therapy I found interesting parallels with my own personal experience. How when the barriers come down, letting go of the rational, you open yourself to process things, to accept this overwhelming feeling of pure “Love” for yourself and those around you. I totally get festival culture now haha
Tucker Max — What MDMA therapy did for me
So without telling everyone the cure is going on an MDMA trip, or remembering Love > Right and you need to make the most of the time you have, let’s just try to be a little nicer to ourselves this holiday!
With that in mind I think next year’s theme = #FAILMORE2019
Have the courage to put myself out there more and try to do some things I am not necessarily sure will work out / plan everything. Stay Tuned and I LOVE YOU!