“You are MORE than Enough”
Original Post: August 24, 2020
Just in case people need to hear it, and I had to really remind myself…
YOU ARE
MORE THAN ENOUGH
Let’s start at the beginning. Starting in January I was in Bali on sabbatical and I felt on top of the world, doing a lot of work on myself, and enjoying all the things I love. Coming to peace with myself and loving myself without feeling any scarcity. Abundantly pouring from a full cup. I couldn’t really articulate it at the time, it felt just right.
I ended up coming home sooner then planned to look after family stuff. The silver lining was it happened before COVID lockdown, and I got to spend more time with my closest friends back home in Canada.
Being back I started to dive back into figuring out what was next in terms of work and how that direction would take shape. Unfortunately, as some offers got momentum and turned down some for one particularly, suddenly → lockdown = hiring came to a stop. At the peak of things there was just so much uncertainty most companies just went to survival mode, only now are we starting to see companies starting to move forward.
Now everyone was in the storm of all things COVID however we are all in very much different ships for the experience. I am grateful to be in the position I was and have the resources to sustain things. I mostly just found ways to keep myself busy and generate momentum.
- Worked on my Sales Ops Roadmap — www.builttoscaleroadmap.com
- Learned some Unity Game making courses for VR
- Put some more time into the Spanish learning
- + all the usual stress releasing habits I mentioned in the last post → running, boxing, bodyweight WODs, reading, video games
There were up days, and there were down days but the biggest struggle was being in the same house as my parents for months. At first it was just to help out, and as the lockdown dragged on it was tougher and unplanned because hiring was slow. I hadn’t been living at home in 13 years, so as much as I appreciate and love my parents, we are very very different people w. very perspectives.
I found myself being pulled into their “expectations” of what I should or shouldn’t be doing with my time (not playing video games / sleeping in), also on the type of person they expected me to be as well. I’ll admit I started caring about them again, compound that with all of sudden feeling this pressure of expectations from myself of what I should be doing with work etc. did I make the wrong choice quitting, turning down other offers before covid, looking for work in Canada, and having the option of back to Silicon valley off the table (thanks Trump → No new work visas) .
This was where I found myself becoming unhappy, low energy, being told I was less then what I thought was my worth and caring, this idea of not meeting whatever “Expectation(s)” you might have for yourself, or others have of you.
Thankfully sometimes events come along and jar you out of your head. Came across this quote that just kicked me in the face:
Trade your “Expectations”
for “Appreciation”
That’s it. When we get caught up focusing on our own expectations or others expectations we get flustered, angry, disappointed, frustrated that someone/something is short of what we are expecting. That it’s not enough, people constantly complaining → scarcity. Instead when we shift our minds, our words, our language to the things we appreciate/grateful for it opens up the doors of abundance.
So as I said before I had to remind myself, that not only am I enough right now and always been, I am MORE THAN ENOUGH!
That pursuing growth is not to fix anything, fill any empty space or gap in expectation. Growth comes from a place as my friend Jamaal Bowry describes it, feels like you are streaming something from beyond yourself.
Our words have weight so I leave with that I am trying to shift my gears that instead of having expectations or wishes, I have hopes for myself and others. My definition being that hope comes from the bottom of your heart wanting something better, fulfilling, joyful without being tied to the outcome. Also, reminding myself that hope alone is not a strategy. CLARITY IS POWER as in if you want something you’ve got to be clear and do the work, just don’t don’t get caught up in any expectations around it or the outcome.
YOU ARE MORE THEN ENOUGH
Much Love & Hope,
BMac
